dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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