That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize