He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
