I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think people are normalizing furries
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
