Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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