after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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