I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
