The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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