i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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