He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
