You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
did i walk over a car last night?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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