what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's blow job season.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
