Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
