I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
