I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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