Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
