I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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