Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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