Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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