party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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