i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
