In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
