I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Of course I have a pirate flag
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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