Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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