hell yes lets make some ravioli
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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