I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
