I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
