That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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