Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Randomize
