well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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