Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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