does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
