she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
