I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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