Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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