She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
