I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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