IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
