That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
