I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
