Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
