I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize