"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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