I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
