i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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