two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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