just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
