the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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