I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
