I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
