I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
