so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
