Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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