Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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