rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
