I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She even gives head with a lisp.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
