I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
