shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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