Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
NoShamevember. You game?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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