I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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