pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
